Halloween Games

Halloween Jokes

Q: What do you call a fat Jack-O-Lantern?
A: A plumkin

Q: What's a vampire's favorite fast food?
A: A guy with very high blood pressure

Q: What do you use to mend a Jack-O-Lantern?
A: A pumpkin patch.

Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?
A: Because he had no body to go with!

Q: If you peel my skin off, I won't cry, but you will. What am I?
A: An onion.

Q: What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about?
A: C sharp or B flat!

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7 8 9!

Q: Why won`t cannibals eat clowns?
A: Because they taste funny!

Q: What was the favorite game at the ghosts' birthday party?
A: Hide and shriek

Q: What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A: Ice scream

Q: What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
A: Boo-boos

Q: What vegetable do you get when King Kong walks through your garden?
A: Squash!

Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop!

Q: What do you say to a skeleton going on vacation?
A: Bone voyage!

Q: What do you call a skeleton who won't work?
A: Lazy bones

Q: How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
A: With scare spray

Q: What was the witch's favorite subject in school?
A: Spelling

Q: What do people say to the parents of twin witches?
A: Which witch is which?

Q: How do you make a witch scratch?
A: Take away the W.

Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
A: Dayscare centers

Q: What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation?
A: A blood vessel

Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A: Because he didn't have the guts!

Q: What do you say to a skeleton before he eats?
A: Bone appetit!

Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
A: Frostbite

Q: What type of dog do vampire's like the best?
A: Bloodhounds

Q: What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A: A stake sandwich

Q: What is a ghost's favorite mode of transportation?
A: A scareplane

Q: What is a baby ghost's favorite game?
A: Peek-a-boo!

Q: Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
A: He heard it had great circulation

Q: Why do mummies make good employees?
A: They get all wrapped up in there work.

Q: What surgery does a vampire doctor perform?
A: Fly by night operations

Q: What did the ghost buy for his Haunted House?
A: Home Moaners Insurance.

Q: Why did the dyslexic vampire starve to death?
A: He couldn't find any doolb.

Q: Why was the cannibal expelled from school?
A: He was buttering up his teacher.

Q: What do you get when you cross a ghost with an owl?
A: Something that scares people and doesn't give a hoot.

Q: Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
A: They're so wrapped up in themselves

Q: What do you do when 20 zombies surround your house?
A: Hope it's Halloween!

Q: Why do vampires need mouthwash?
A: They have bat breath

Q: How did the priest make holy water?
A: He poured water from the tap and then boiled the heck out of it!

Q: What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
A: Dead ends

Q: What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
A: A trombone

Q: Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
A: No body


Famous characters Ghost Stories Folktales


Schlosser, author of the Spooky Series

About the Author: S.E. Schlosser

S.E. Schlosser is the author of the Spooky Series by Globe Pequot Press, as well as the Ghost Stories deck by Random House.  She has been telling stories since she was a child, when games of "let's pretend" quickly built themselves into full-length tales acted out with friends. A graduate of both Houghton College and the Institute of Children's Literature, Sandy received her MLS from Rutgers University while working as a full-time music teacher and a freelance author. Read more

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